Sunday, October 18, 2015

Marche100 creator of Obama RPG confesses to creative burnout - RMN

I just stumbled upon this today, so I apologize if this is a bit late, I thought this was interesting nonetheless:

On 08/16/2013, Marche100, creator of the RMN cult classic "Obama RPG: Magical Quest 3 HD - Future Legend of Superhuman President Starring Barack Obama" provided a fascinating confession on creative burnout. It sounds very similar to Badluck's struggle with ARA FELL - my question is, how do we avoid this?

I'll probably add a couple of pictures to this and a download, later on, if I can find one.

Either way, he recites his particular ordeal below.

"...Back when I first started making Obama RPG, I had visions of grandeur, an RPG that would try to soar high, like Barkley Shut Up and Jam did. At first, the story was simple, but it expanded. And expanded. And expanded, until I had what I thought was a good game. Then, the first hiatus hit. I had lost the motivation to go on, and yet...I felt like I owed everyone. I felt like it was wrong of me to just up and leave it. Like it was my masterpiece and I needed to complete it. It gnawed at me. Day after day after day. Month after month. Yet, I still didn't want to make it.

 So, I worked on it, on and off for a little while as a burst of motivation came, then came the next big hiatus. Approximately a year long. Still, I had that gnawing feeling. A voice in my head telling me "you need to finish this game, or else..." So, I picked it up again last month or whenever it was. Then it consumed my life. 

Every waking hour I worked on it. I worked on it well past when I would usually go to bed. I exhausted myself, but time and time again I kept going, telling myself "you picked it up again, so you HAVE to finish it for the people waiting for it". This game became my life. It defined me. Heck, when I first put up that download for disk 1 and there was problems with the sound that I didn't know how to fix, I basically had a panic attack.

But all for what? Was I really doing it to entertain? No, I don't think so. I think I was trying to sate that voice in my head forcing me to work on the game. Trying to finally end this chapter in my life that had just become nothing more than an itch that you can't scratch. It had its claws in me, and it was never going to take them out.

And then, I lost motivation once more. Right after disk 1 released. I was tired. I still am tired of making games. I never wanted to go back to it. But there, still, was that gnawing feeling. "You have to work on this." I just bought RPG Maker VX Ace the other day and started making a horror game in an attempt to sate that voice with something else, but then I just get the same feeling with that game.

In all honesty, I never should have started this game. True, I've learned a lot through making it, but it has become its own little hell. Actually, not just Obama RPG. Making games has in general, given the recent RPG Maker VX Ace experiment.

I'm not cut out for this. That much is clear. I've always been a player of games, and have wanted to make games, but that doesn't mean that I should, or that everything will be just peachy when I try.

I appreciate all that my seven years of using RPG Maker has given me. It's given me a lot of heartbreak, and a lot of fun. A lot of stories, and a lot of learning experiences. But I just can't keep doing this to myself. It's far more trouble than it's worth. The voice in my head told me to make disk 2, and I just said "no".

And now, I feel like a great chain has lifted off of me. I'm free from Obama RPG. I have my life back. And that's the main reason I cancelled Obama RPG (although the legality thing [with using licensed music] is still a big concern)."

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